UncategorizedJanuary 18, 2010

Golden Globe Awards a.k.a. Worst Red Carpet Ever.

How many of you were SO disappointed in the fashion last night? I think they could have called it “Night of the Overwhelming Ruffle”.  Everyone was swimming in ruffle overkill! Now I like ruffles as much as the next girlie-girl but this was just plain ridiculous. Other than that, I felt like it was wholly disappointing! So here is my little recap:

Took the Term “Golden Globes” Literally: Mariah Carey– She’s not known for being the classiest dresser, but she’s been better lately. Then THIS! “Oh hello there DD’s, what’s up? Glad you got your invitation to the red carpet and could bring Mariah with you!” This picture makes it look about half as bad as it was on TV, FYI.

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Most Likely to Send Men (and Women) into Cardiac Arrest and Mariah into a Suicidal Tailspin: Halle Berry- When she sauntered on stage to present my jaw hit the floor with a loud thud, echoed by many, many people the world over I’m sure. Holy shit. This woman is a goddess and can rock out a blindingly sexy dress with so much class it makes you wonder if we’re the same species. Take notes, Mariah, this is how to look sexy and fierce.

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I Can See Your Hoo-Ha!: Jennifer Anniston- Don’t get me wrong, she looks great. Love the draping one shoulder, the smokey eye, the dark nails- but that slit really left NOTHING to the imagination when she walked out on stage! Sweet Lord, I am pretty sure there was a collective gasp in the theater.

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The Easter Bunny Called and Wants His Dress Back: Sandra Bullock– This PAINS me because I think she is so gorgeous and such a magnificent person (donated $1 million to Haiti relief yesterday) but this dress is the biggest misstep ever! The fabric is so cheap looking it makes my eyes bleed. The sheer panel in the back was so unflattering. But I loved her hair and makeup and her overall demeanor makes her gorgeous no matter what she puts on.

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You Could Put Your Eye Out with That Thing: Drew Barrymore– I never claimed to understand haute couture creations, and this is why. I saw Drew from one side and thought she looked beautiful and then she turned around and that thing on her hip nearly poked my eye out. What IS that? It looks like a tumor/ shelf for resting a cocktail on. I really don’t like it and think it’s so unflattering. But I’m glad you won Drew, you rocked it out as Little Edie.

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The “Killed It” Award: Maggie Gyllenhaal– Usually Maggie is the one that goes more avante garde, but when she walked the carpet in this to DIE for salmon colored number that fit her like a glove I squealed. It was my favorite of the night by far. I would have done different hair and maybe bigger earrings, but she looked so beautiful!

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She Gets a Gorgeous Dress, a British Accent AND Jon Krasinski?: Emily Blundt- This dress was so ethereal and beautifully subtle. I loved it on her (and those killer matching cuff bracelets!) The girl has got it going on.

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Of Course She Looks Amazing, She’s French: Marion Cotilliard- This peacock blue Christian Dior number was superb. The detailed pleating, hints of lace and perfect color made Marion one of my favorites. Plus her eye makeup was spot on!

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What Was That? My Head Just Exploded From the Cuteness: Ginnifer Goodwin– Totally channeling an indie-Audrey here, Ginnifer Goodwin looked darling in this short blue number with her pixie hair and perfect accessories. The umbrella only makes her look CUTER!

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Making Me Wonder if Rachel Zoe Has Lost Her Touch: Cameron Diaz– This shot of her looks better than it looked on the carpet. The shoulder padded cap sleeves are so unflattering and the lack of accessories along with her super severe pulled back hair and makeup made her look stiff and old. I really hated this.

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Making Me Wonder if Rachel Zoe Still Gives Her Clients Mexican Diet Pills: Jennifer Garner- Why is she so bone thin? When she was being interviewed on the red carpet I could not stop asking this question! Normally the picture of health Jennifer looked downright emaciated. The grey dress and messy hair did not do her any favors either. Typically she glows, and last night she was dulled. Even with sequins! Something is up….

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The Ruffle Parade: Anna Kendrick, Christina Hendricks, Chloe Sevigny, Jennifer Morrison, Zoe Saldana, Diane Kruger– Dang ladies, sometimes there is a way to take a trend too far. Especially you, Jennifer Morrison. Too many friggin’ ruffles. To be fair, I don’t entirely mind Zoe Saldana’s dress, but I wish it were a bit “neater”.  And Christina Hendricks WORKS her Christian Siriano number, totally channeling Marilyn Monroe (and wearing a color I never would have thought would have looked good on redheads, but does)! But Diane Kruger, to me, looks like a prom nightmare. UGH! Of all the dresses in the world, she picked that? Chloe Sevigny is lost in the froth and Anna Kenrick seems choked by her giant Marchesa ruffle.

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Makes Me Pray to the Fertility Gods That I Look This Great Knocked Up: Amy Adams– She is beyond darling in this gorgeous green sheath. Still way hip with the asymmetrical neckline and a perfect hair style, she made me smile from ear to ear!

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Bedazzle Me: Anna Paquin and Toni Colette- I love some good beading, and these two made it look sleek, chic and totally classy. Loved them both!

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Needs to Put Her Mystic Tan Membership on Hold: Fergie– Way too tan- she looks dirty. And her hair looked two very different colors. But she does have Josh Duhamel as an accessory and this dress did look understated and lovely on her, so I can’t be ALL mean.

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WTF, Tom Ford is Your Date and You Wore THAT?: Julianne Moore– It looks like a trash bag with a weird ruffle collar. Did he really design this, I wonder? It’s beyond awful!

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NO. NO. NO: January Jones and Kate Hudson- I was so bummed to see these two wearing these odd numbers. January with her massive shoulder ruffle and misplaced headband and Kate with her origami stuffed with toilet paper mess and stripper shoes (although I LOVED her earrings!) I don’t understand why stars don’t just try to look pretty.

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The Dark Night: Heather Graham, Vera Farmiga, Penelope Cruz and Courtney Cox– Heather looks lovely yet she had, what I like to call “crazyface”, eyes all bugged out and looking like she was ready to pounce- or maybe her ponytail was pulled too tight? Vera looked great in a textured mermaid gown, but I can’t help but feel like she’d light up with looser hair and a BRIGHT color. Penelope herself was a revelation-perfectly tan and glowing with glam hair and elegant makeup- the dress left me confused though. I can’t tell if I hate it or am okay with it. It’s kind of ho-hum, in my opinion. Now Courtney looked great and so chic- the hair, the earrings, the simple gown but the PLASTIC SURGERY HAS TO STOP!

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The Unpopular “Like”: Julia Roberts- Most people thought she looked boring and under-dressed, but I inexplicably liked it. The short dress, GORGEOUS huge sparkly pendant, perfect hair and big smile said “This isn’t SERIOUS in contrast to what’s going on the world and I’m just having a good time”. Maybe I’m just on my Elizabeth Gilbert high still, but she made me smile.

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And finally to end the longest post EVER (yes, I missed some folks but this is just getting ridiculous), I have to comment on my favorite speeches of the night.  Mo’nique was breathtaking in her eloquent, meaningful and powerful speech by which the bar was set (and not reached by anyone else). Robert Downey Jr.’s speech left me in complete stitches (major crush) and I was delirious when Michael C. Hall from Dexter won. He’s been battling cancer (very quietly) and to have this well deserved honor during such a struggle is hopefully really uplifting for him!

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So, what did you guys think?

Also, if you are still looking for a way to contribute to the Haitian crisis, I’ve set up my own fund raising efforts with Partners in Health, an amazing organization. Just click the box at the top right of this page to donate now!!!!

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