Life & FamilyJuly 13, 2010

Heartbreaking.

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I did not know Marija, but I wish I had.

While reading her husband’s gut wrenching post yesterday announcing her tragic death over the weekend I could barely breathe. A woman so full of life and talent- a mother, a wife, a designer, a blogger- Marija had so much going for her and in an instant it was all taken away; shattering the hearts of those closest to her as well as those of us who only knew her through her graceful posts. You didn’t have to know her to fathom the pain of her family, and you don’t have to venture far to realize that this woman was just like you and me.

One of us. Just gone. It sends the mind reeling.

As I finished Cory’s post I scrolled down further and was jarred by reading her last few entries-obviously unaware of her fate, she discussed things she hoped to do, plans she had and smiling photos of her children. It makes this tragedy all the more upsetting to know all she had to look forward to. Blogs are amazing in the way they bring complete strangers together and loop our lives together. Marija actually had just commented recently about that very fact. They allow you to create a whole new group of friends capable of enriching your life in ways you’d never expect.  Even if you never meet them in person, you know they are there, supporting you, giving you feedback and laughing and crying with you with every post.  And now I realize blogs serve another purpose.  Marija’s blog is a time capsule of her personality and charm, her ideas and experiences, and it is there for people to still visit and be inspired by, even though she is no longer here.  It sounds trivial, but I hope that someday her son and daughter will read through it and will be able to get an even better sense of who their mother was and what she was passionate about.

We spend so much time running about fretting and sweating the details.  I am probably the worst offender of this. It’s so easy to forget about the big things, the things that REALLY matter, and allow the stresses of daily life to create a sense of unease and sadness in us. It really is unfortunate that it takes something like Marija’s death to remind us to stop it. Seriously, STOP IT. So what if you’re late to work? So what if you’ve gained five pounds? So what if you aren’t making as much money as you want or aren’t living in the house of your dreams? It pains me to know how much time I waste on worry and stress and how many experiences I miss because I’m too scared/busy/financially stressed to do them. I know I won’t change overnight but just for today I am going to stop the stress cycle and simply revel in this cup of coffee I’m sipping before my wide open day in which I get to do a job that I created for myself and love. I’m going to hug my friends and family. I’m going to snuggle my puppies a little longer and not get mad when they take forever on our walk. I’m going to be patient with myself.  I’m going to enjoy every second of my yoga class tonight. I’m going to do what I can and then let the rest go. I’m going to remember that nothing is permanent.

I’m going to think of Marija.

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