In the past year I’ve been presented with an absolute tidal wave of mind-boggling opportunities- from amazing client homes, photo shoots, charity events, magazine spreads to cool side projects like High Gloss and most recently, a foray in to television. When success happens quickly and all at once, it’s hard not to feel like it’s a fluke and that you have to say yes to everything and scoop up every opportunity and job because it will probably never be this way again. Kind of like eating everything at the buffet because you can- I mean, it’s THERE for the taking so why not take it? It would be stupid not to, right? Saying no to anything has been very hard for me to do, and in doing so has stressed me out to an unhealthy level and caused me to make some poor decisions and frankly be quite unhappy when I should be on top of the world! I learned the hard way that more is not better, sometimes more makes you feel like less. For this reason, although I was excited about it, I had to pass on the opportunity to do a pilot with HGTV as I mentioned on Facebook and Twitter.
It’s such a hard call to make, but being so blessed to have so much work and so many side projects, I felt this tug inside that I really need to put all my energy into those commitments instead of be swayed by the sexiness of a potential TV show. We live in a TV centric culture of which I happily am a consumer, but when that opportunity comes at a time when I am already maxed out, it just doesn’t feel right or fair to anyone, especially myself. I love my clients and I take my work for them seriously and when I make a commitment to someone I want to make sure that I not only follow through but do so with 100% effort, focus and creativity. This attitude is why the people on my wait list are probably very annoyed to have to keep waiting, but it’s only because I want to give each client this service. In this same vein, when and if I am able to do tv, I want to give that my all too, and right now that would be nearly impossible. I never want to put out a half-hearted product- be it a design, a show, or a blog post. I know to so many people it’s hard to understand passing this up, and of course there is a part of me that may regret not jumping at it, but I think deep down I know in my heart this is the right thing to do.
It’s all a matter of finding a balance and prioritizing what means most to you. And it’s oh-so easy to neglect that notion while burning the candle at both ends. I think the past few months I’ve been so caught up in work I have neglected friendships and relationships that mean a lot to me too, and that makes me sad. So I’ve recommitted to maintaining those as well and setting aside time to really make sure those close to me know how much they mean to me and how much I enjoy having them in my life. I also need to spend more time on myself- more yoga, more outdoor time, more snuggling with my puppies and worrying less about all the pressure I feel to be this person I’m not sure I am or want to be. Why do I HAVE to do TV? Why do I HAVE to take on so much? What’s wrong with staying small? I want to be successful, but I want to enjoy that success too. But don’t you worry, this blog ain’t goin’ nowhere. :) I always say, if I had to give everything up but one thing, that one remaining thing would be this blog without hesitation. It feels like a child of mine, a true labor of love and I can’t imagine life without it. It’s given me everything and it’s the best part of every day. Thank you for making it so.
So that’s that people. I’m here, I’m trying to refocus and hoping to be better than ever.