FashionFebruary 21, 2011

Fashion Week: The Ugly

Man, I do not claim to be an avant-garde fashionista but I thought that a lot of my favorite designers put out some seriously heinous stuff for Fall 2011. I am dubbing it The Season of Frump.  I mean, there are those designers you know always come out with weird, unflattering pieces ’cause it’s their thing, but DVF? Tory? OSCAR? No! I was shocked at the patterns, cuts, and styling of all these shows… and more.

DVF- My favorite designer of all time hit me with some truly awful stuff! You can imagine me clutching my chest and writhing in pain when I saw this show. Where is the genius who loves to show off a woman’s curves and knows just how to drape silk jersey so you always feel sexy and beautiful? And instead shows us frumpy draping, mismatched prints and those HATS!?

Tory Burch was nearly as bad- if not worse- with some really eye assaulting plaids and AWFUL skirt lengths (no one looks good in shin length skirts. Not even Brooklyn Decker.) FRUMPY FRUMP FRUMP. I want tunics! And cute flats! And modern pretty classics!

All I keep hearing in my head is Emily Blundt’s character in Devil Wears Prada “What, do you have some hideous skirt convention to go to?”

Marchesa three years ago was amazing. Marchesa now is like Lady Gaga joins the IceCapades. If I see any of these come down the Oscar red carpet I will chuck my cute new leopard Zara booties at the TV.

Marc Jacobs. Really? REALLY? Polka dots were violently violated here. I think he must watch a lot of Big Love or something. Ruffled to the neck and hemlines at the shin? This makes me mad because these people have millions and millions to produce amazing clothes and  put this crap out instead! I will say it again: WOMEN WANT TO LOOK PRETTY!

Oscar sent some sort of Bill-Cosby-Sweaters-Meets-Russian- Doll down the runway.

Me no likey.

Kelly Wearstler’s foray into fashion design was a major flop. Wah-WAH. I am all of the sudden hungry for a black and white cookie.

Are those crushed velvet, PLEATED, ankle elasticized pants? And that dress? Did I miss tehe school marm memo? As an interior designer who admires Ms. Wearstler’s creative career path, I promise you if I ever get to do a collection it will not look like this. At all.

Narciso Rodruiguez is always sleek and chic and plays with color blocking- but this version of it is again, super unflattering. What is WITH the shin length hemlines??? Did we run out of looks to bring back that we are now bringing back the really awful 80’s stuff? What’s next- jelly shoes and Puffy Paint sweatshirts?

BCBG baffled me with it’s super baggy, unflattering chiffon gowns layered over WHITE TURTLENECK with blah belts. I would rather wear a chicken costume.

Like this.Best dressed of the season. :)

I fell asleep halfay through looking at the Calvin Klein show- not only were a lot of the silhouettes shapeless, but the colors (or lack of it) were sooooo dull.

Who’s with me?

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