FashionJanuary 16, 2012

Golden Globes Red Carpet Review

I was super excited to see the Golden Globes this year because I LOVE Ricky Gervais and his attitude towards Hollywood and their egos.  But of COURSE, the very best part is always the red carpet… and this year was BLLAAAAAHHH for the most part. Nothing truly breathtaking, some pretty things and some really bad decisions. Let’s review:

THE BEST:

The dog from The Artist is hands down my best dressed. You can’t compete with that, so don’t try.

I have to say, with all annoyance, that Angelina was STUNNING. As Andrew so eloquently put it “she has the most judgmental eyes I have ever seen”. True, she looks like she has pure disdain for everyone, however, the woman looked like Hollywood perfection. The fit, the hints of red on the lip, bag and dress and the perfect hair and simple HUGE diamonds. Awesome. However, there was a fabulous moment caught on camera where Brad turned around from her to say hi to David Duchovny and she was left awkwardly alone and shot him the iciest of stares, which you know meant someone was going to get 20 lashings and a time out in the dungeon when they got home.

I love Claire Danes- she’s so sweet and Homeland is the BEST show on TV hands down.  She so deserved her win and her look was modern, different and yet really pretty and age appropriate. GREAT choice.

I was shocked by how AWESOME Nicole Ritchie looked! Loved the dress, the hair, the makeup- it all worked. Paris Hilton, take note of your former co-star (BTW,what’s happened to Paris? Is she still alive?)

DAY-UM. Viola Davis has to be one of the best dressed last night- she looked HOT. The dress color is perfection on her, the shoes make the look edgy and her simple gold accessories just glow. Not to mention the sassy pixie haircut. SO GOOD.

Whoever styles Evan Rachel Wood should get a Golden Globe. She has surprised me on so many occasions including last night. This dress was one of the only truly “wow” numbers. Sequins fading to feathers? Come on, now. Too cool for school.

Flawless. She is always FLAWLESS. And so ladylike and lovely and this color blocked dress is no exception. The little jeweled belt is a delightful touch. So classy.

Oh Natalie. Oh PINK AND RED! Could she be any prettier? It’s so annoying. I’m not usually a fan of the puffy hip thingy but with her you barely notice it because she is so luminescent and damn near regal.

OK, you guys are totally going to disagree with me on this since Twitter was abuzz about Jessica Alba being best dressed. While her hair, makeup, face, body and everything about her was brighter than the sun (what luminizer does she use? Is it actually MADE of the sun?) I did not like this dress. It looked like it came from the Macy’s prom department. The silhouette and color are beautiful but the sparkles and waist sash look cheap to me.

I am dead serious when I say I want to know exactly what ALL these four women are doing to look so ridiculously good- Salma looks hotter than she has in YEARS (she’s 45) and don’t even get me started with Elle McPherson who is 47. FORTY FREAKING SEVEN! Does she drink the blood of baby unicorns or something???

Diane Lane is 46 and gets younger and younger. Maybe it’s her younger husband. And the fiercest, most awesome lady in Hollywood, Helen Mirren who is the biggest rock star ever. She always is on my best dressed list not to mention someone I’d love to have drinks with.

Charlize. She could wear a dress from the Kardashian Kollection and look amazing, and she DOES look amazing, however I feel like I’ve seen this exact look on her before, right down to the headband.  She looked like an angel, I just would love to see her dress more edgy and sleek and less frothy and frou frou. Don’t get me wrong, I would sell my soul to look like her.

I love Emma Stone, but did not love this dress. It’s very cool and quirky but I just am not into it myself. Her hair and eye makeup however, sign me UP! What a killer smoky eye!

Can this woman look bad? There were so many people in nude last night I was bored stiff, until I saw Heidi in her simple shift with that AMAZING necklace! I think she looks amazing!

In contrast, and it PAINS me to slam Kristen Wiig as I really want to be her BFF, but this is nude done wrong. It’s the exact color of her skin and washes her out like no ones business. I love the silhouette of this dress and the statement necklace, but imagine if this was in hot pink or emerald green?? It would be amazeballs. If this look had a sound it would be “wah-waaahhh”.

Rooney Mara is a bad ass. That is all.

Octavia Spencer’s violet gown was perfect for her- as was her chic chignon, drop earrings and awesome attitude. Brava (but next time skip the dye to match purse please).

Reese stole Jennifer Aniston’s hair from last year and wore it to the Globes! While she looked sexy and happy, the top of this dress looked really weird and fit terrible. And give a girl some better accessories. She’s an Oscar winner for God’s sake.

Sexy, yes. She is perfect, but this is BO-RING. Awesome earrings, even more awesome accent. But I almost just fell asleep. Andrew says he’d still “do her”. Classic.

She wears the same dress to every award show in a different color, no?? We get it. You are sexy. You have amazing curves. WEAR SOMETHING ELSE.

Kinda creepy pretty pretty princess look on Julie Bowen. Not good. The dress itself is pretty, but perhaps on some darling ingenue, not the crass Mom from Modern Family.

I was happy to see a little color, as UNBELIEVABLY annoying as Paula Patton was posing with these ridiculous faces on the carpet (did anyone but me catch that??)  And I thought Laura Dern’s dress had an amazing cut!! She’s looked better than she has in a long time as well!

When Michelle Williams stepped out of her limo I screamed “TAKE OFF THE HEADBAND!!!” and almost threw my iPhone at the TV. She is one of my favorites, and this look totally failed in my opinion. The dress looked frumpy- she could wear ANYTHING, why this?

Proof that robots can have fun too. Keith Urban’s hair must take way longer to highlight, flat iron and style than hers.

Zooey is the cutest, we all know that. At first I loved it, and then it started slowly morphing into a fail for me. The hair was wierd, it looked like she had sideburns, and the green started going all slimey for me. And we get it, your a hipster, no need to paint your nails in tuxedos. As Andrew also said (he had few, but brilliant, insights) “What happened to just looking pretty?”

So sad this look went wrong for JEssica CHastain, she is SO gorgeous and such a great actress (how FAB was she in The Help?) I think it’s her hair- if it were up and she was wearing more youthful earrings I think I would have loved this.

Go home Lea Michelle. Halle Berry wore this years ago and wore it much better at that. Smugness is not a good accessory. Why was half the red carpet Glee people???

Mila looked so uncomfortable in her dress. The top needed some support and the hair was too severe for her. FAIL.

Not a huge fan of cranberry AND ruffles.

But who cares what she wears when she photobombs Amy Poehler during her nomination announcement???

LIZ LEMON 4 EVA.

ANNOYING. WRONG. That is all.

Madonna needs to lay off the plastic surgery, whatever she was smoking in her limo and her belief she is British (this also hold true for Johnny Depp- when did he become a foreigner?). I don’t really have an opinion on this becasue it’s Madonna. She can do whatever she wants. I just know I don’t love it.

GAHHHHH! What the FRICK is Piper Perabo wearing? The color could not be blander and the dress was SO wierd (was it see through? Made of wax paper?) UGH.

I will never understand how Kelly Osbourne got to be a fashion critic, especially with her creepy grey hair! I will never, ever like pointy shoulders, sorry Zac Posen. Major fail.

SMG said she let her daughter pick this. Looks like her daughter painted this. So ugly.

Seriously? You just get engaged to Mr. Sexy Back and you wear your Grandma’s doily? I’d be running down the red carpet in the most fabulous, sexy thing I could get my hands on. Especially if I looked like that!

BIG mistake. HUGE. I have to go shopping now.

(Sorry, couldn’t resist a good Pretty Woman line…)

THE. WORST. EVER.

What the flip is this Amanda Peet? So seriously. What is this???? The lace, the tiers. the LENGTH?!?! She is so damn pretty, why in the world would she wear this nightmare? By far and away, the worst dressed of the night!!

All images via PopSugar!


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