Oscars Red Carpet 2012

First of all, that was the WORST Oscars telecast in the history of the show. From the red-carpet WTF coverage to the totally not funny schticks and microphone squealing issues to Billy Crystal’s over-Botoxed forehead. Next year I petition for Tina Fey to host. Or Alec Baldwin. Someone who is current and actually funny.

Anywhoo….onto the fashion.  Overall it was okay, nothing that really stunned me into silence, but also nothing that made me scream at the TV in horror (which is half the fun really).   And where were half the stars? Leo? Ryan? Jake? Reese? Kate? I digress- onto the dresses:

My best dressed goes to Michele Williams in deep coral Louis Vuitton.  Not only do I think she is classy and lovely as a person, but she also GLOWED and look comfortable and happy in that dress.

Coming in second, but holding an Oscar, was Octavia Spencer.  She looked awesome last night, that dress was the perfect example of dressing a curvy figure!But this dress is gorgeous on it’s own too- love the cap sleeve, the hint of sparkle and the draping!

You all know I love me some GOOP.  And her Tom Ford gown looked beautiful and fit her gorgeous.  But I think I am the only one who didn’t LOVE the cape.  I liked it, but did not LOVE it.  I think if her hair was different (hated it) then I would have been over the moon about this look.

Glenn Close gets the Helen Mirren Award for “Looking Hotter than Women Half Her Age”.  Even Andrew commented on how fabulous she looked.  I j’adore the tuxedo jacket over the gown- age appropriate and sassy.

I typically don’t love black and gold embroidery, but when I saw Jessica Chastain I gasped. She looked so gorgeous, and seems like such a lovely lady.

I am totally envious of her red hair- and last night it was perfection!!!

Viola Davis has been absolutely killing it on the red carpets this season, but last night I was not psyched.  The dress itself was really gorgeous and that color was drop dead- but the fit was WAY too tight! It looked like her boobs were going to either explode or make a special appearance.

I loved Rose Byrne’s simple yet sexy look- except she’s gotten too skinny! Like, shockingly so compared to when she was in Bridesmaids! But the haircut, earrings and makeup were perfect.

Speaking of skinny….

Hey Brad, move over. Angie’s leg needs more room to stick out.

OMG, I didn’t realize your dress had a slit! Thanks for confirming that on stage, Ang.

And the best moment of the night….

SUCK IT JOLIE! Her striking a post so flagrantly on stage was SO absurd this guy could not help himself…. even though she was still standing there on stage!  Sorry Angie, you are allowed to act like a sexpot only after you gain weight so you don;t look like the Crypt Keeper in a ball gown.  A jutting clavicle bone isn’t hot. It’s too bad because her dress and overall look was beautiful, her attitude just ruined it.

I did not love the neck on Emma Stone’s dress, it seemed like too much fabric to me and way to close to the Balenciaga gown Nicole Kidman wore in 2009.  However, I love her and she was one of the only genuine laughs I had during the telecast when she was onstage with Ben Stiller. Adorable.

Oh look, George doesn’t need to win he already has a big gold statue! Is that rosette on her hip? ICK.  I have not liked much Marchesa in the last few years- it’s so….. froufy.

Two of my favorite funny ladies looked fantastic- Tina looked the best she’s looked all year, especially her hair and makeup.  And Maya Rudolph looks amazing in purple and her hair too was magic!

And then Kristen Wiig showed up in silly putty again! AGAIN! Who is telling her to wear this color multiple times this year?  Canary yellow? Hot pink? Come on!!! Something other than THIS.

Another person who needed to wear color. All I can say about this is “Meh”. It washes her out.

She looked WAY hotter in her VF party dress!

J.Lo. Oh J.Lo. I didn’t see the nip slip everyone was talking about, and she did look pretty…but those arm slits are just so….mall prom dress.

I actually liked her VF dress better- the deep red sequins were so killer and the sides have panels of lace dyed the same color….

BUT she brought him. I thinks he should get an Honorary Lifetime Achievement Oscar for Worst Taste in Men!

Am I the only one who absolutely HATED Sandra’s dress? Another Marchesa nightmare. She is one of my favorite actresses so it pains me to say it, but man I thought it was heinously unflattering.

I also did not love Natalie Portman’s vintage polka dot dress. I think it was the necklace. Had she paired it with a more modern hair style and jewelry I think it would have been sweet. But she looks too mature and uptight for her age.

Rooney Mara was incredible in Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and I like that she’s not all “Hollywood”- but something about her is off for me.  I understand shy, but she seems a smidge smug in her silence.  I did like her overall look, it was very “her” and while severe, ethereally so.

BEST OF THE NIGHT!!! :) You can’t beat a handsome Frenchman and adorable Jack Russell. You just can’t.

P.S. Kim Kardashian actually went to a party COVERED UP! She actually looks lovely! Now that’s news.



50 comments

  1. Ha! I totally snorted out a laugh when I read what you wrote about Angelina. I SO AGREE. My husband kept asking me “what is she doing?! Is this a spoof?”

    I was so disappointed in Sandra Bullock – it looked like Botox got to her too – she just looked so stiff.

    Cameron Diaz’ arms both terrify me and make me totally envious.

    That is all.

  2. On Cameron: Am I the only one who was really annoyed with her nip situation? The dress not only washed her out, but made her look like she had a 12 year old boy’s shape, with nips pointing in different directions.

    On Angie: I COMPLETELY agree. It is like she is a different person at each award show. She is either (A) Acting like she is better than everyone and looking down her nose at everyone because she is wearing a dress that covers her from head to toe or (b) Acting like she is better than everyone because she is a sex-pot. Eat a sandwich and than maybe we can talk about being sexy. Someone on the carpet actually called her “curvy”. ?

    On JLo: BEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT – Presenting with Cameron:
    Cameron: “Edith Head, the great costume designer once said that a dress should be tight enough to show you’re a woman….”
    JLo: “And loose enough to prove you’re a lady”
    I almost peed my pants laughing at this. Mike, too. Apparently JLo didn’t think about that quote when picking her gown!

  3. WOW! Kim Kardashian looks great, although, not sure why she would even be invited to the party but whatev’s. Giuliana Rancic was my best dressed of the night, although, her hair was a little too severe. Glenn Close looks phenomonal – Meryl Streep should take note!

  4. Erin, I love your writing style, but the French major in me has to correct this one thing (I don’t know how familiar you are with French, so please don’t take this as patronizing):

    In French, “Je” (or j’ when the verb starts with a vowel) is the prefix for “I”. So “j’adore” means “I love”. Therefore, in English you can either say “I adore…” or “j’adore…”, but not “I j’adore…” because it’s redundant. You’ve done this a couple times, and I know it’s nit-picky, but it makes me cringe!

    Absolutely love your blog though!

  5. Such a great recap! I adored Octavia’s dress (and almost cried when she won), and while I didn’t love Jessica’s gown on its own, she did look absolutely gorgeous in it. Also expected more from Natalie Portman– her dresses were better when she was pregnant!

  6. Bwaaaaa! LOVE the Jolie digs! She really needs to get a grip on the fact that she is NOT the second coming of Christ.
    Thought Gwyneth’s dress killed it, but in the stills of her, she looks like she’s not sure what to do with her arms for fear the cape will slip off. Still, I get that no matter what, as far as G is concerned, she will always be a step ahead…

  7. I am convinced Angelina Jolie wants to be Jessica Rabbit, maybe she should realize that Jessica is an exaggerated cartoon character…

  8. Hehe, we don’t get the show on here so I love your awards coverage. Always funny and on point, thank you. Love the cape and Octavia looked amazing, Anj is just driving me nuts recently! Thanks for the smiles. ax

  9. I agree with you 100% about both the Red Carpet show and the Award show….yawn. Why did E only have Ryan Seacrest on the Red Carpet? Don’t they usually have multiple people covering so they can catch more stars? I feel like they kept showing the same stars’ dresses over and over again. And, I don’t want to hear random people commenting on the dresses. Keep showing the stars! I know you love G but I feel like she wears similar dresses and her hair looked like she ran out of time. Is she still married, her husband is Never with her!

  10. I feel like I’m all alone on an island in my LOVE OBSESSION with Emma Stone’s dress. Crazy nuts about it!! My absolute fave. Love that we can disagree (here’s my recap: http://baylorsays.blogspot.com/2012/02/dresses.html). I loved Sandra’s too, but was super disappointed in her frozen face and definitely think she had work done. But her prerogative I spose!

    Angelina uggh. And I’m a major Gwyneth hater so I am meh. Cape? Bleh. She’s just so…her. OVER JLO. For the most part everyone was safe and pretty. Where was Tilda Swinton when I needed her???

  11. Totally disagree with you on the show as a whole. Did you watch the fiasco that was Franco and Hathaway last year? Horrible, torture, practically a human rights violation. Crystal is a VAST IMPROVEMENT. Crystal, Emma Stone and the ladies from Bridesmaids actually got a couple of belly laughs outta me this year(SCORSESE!!!!). But I agree that Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin would be great hosts as well.

    Can’t comment on read carpet coverage, missed all but last five minutes – just long enough to see Clooney and the Keib’s, I know you did not love the dress but was glowing (in a good way) on TV.

    Agree on the fashion for the most part. Glenn Close KILLED it. Tina Fey looked great, but that bun was ridiculous, was she hiding snacks in there? WAY TOO BIG.

  12. Thanks for making me laugh. That was so right on about everything I saw last night. And that Glenn Close! The youngun’s need to take some lessons from her in understated style….and what is appropriate for you body.

  13. The guy that made fun of Angelina Jolie went to my high school! Just got a Charlotte Latin email blast about it. Go Hawks! Really enjoyed your live tweeting of the Oscars last night. I also think Ryan Seacrest is a ridiculous diva for ruining the telecast from the carpet. Really enjoyed Kat Graham though…

  14. i feel like we should have watched together: TOTALLY agree re: portman and bullock. the droopy top of rooney mara’s dress bugged me, although overall it was fine. kristen wiig should fire her stylist.

    favorites of the night: michelle williams looked incredible, thank god we are out of the 90s calvin klein rut! i have to say that i loved emma stone’s look – she owned that dress, and was so funny on-stage!

    lastly, you didn’t mention her, but ellie kemper is so adorable but the fact that her hair matched her dress was a bit much in my opinion…

  15. Agree on all… It was pretty underwhelming, but the few that nailed it looked great. No one really looked horrific either.

    And marchesa- BLECH. Can I say that I HATE every single thing they do?

  16. Every year you open up your “oscars red carpet” post complaining about how horrible the oscars were..its kind unorginal at this point. I was hoping that I wouldn’t see so much negativity from you. Gwyneth was my favorite!! She is stunning…I also loved Octavia, but thought that Michelle Williams’ dress was so/so.

  17. I actually love Stacey Kiebler’s dress, but hated her hair. I just wanted to pin that one side back. I cannot stand Angelina Jolie. Half the stuff she wears is robes, the other half is black. If anyone else tried to pull that the fashion critics would be all over it but because it’s “Angie” they ooh and aah. Yuck. Put your leg away and eat a damn cheeseburger. Cameron needed to do something with her hair. Jessica Chastain looked gorgeous.

  18. And, BTW , what was with Angelina…..actually smiling and that ridiculous Captain Morgan’s pose? Was she on something? George Clooney’s girlfriend/statue looked ridiculous in that dress with the rose on the side, it looked like an 80’s prom dress. These gorgeous, intelligent men with such silly women. ; )

  19. Maybe it’s my age, but I thought this year’s Oscars were among the best I’ve ever seen.

    Penelope Cruz wore the most beautiful gown at the Oscars. Octavia Spencer looked amazing, too. A couple of the Bridesmaids (I don’t know their names) had very pretty gowns. Gwyneth Paltrow and Milla Jovovich wore lovely gowns as well.

    But that thing that Rooney Mara wore is just awful – it looks like it was designed by a structural engineer! What was with the flaps on her boobs?

    Angelina just looked ridiculous. The gown was nice enough, but the posing made her look like an idiot. And Brad looks so scruffy.

    I love Sandra Bullock, but that dress was not at all flattering.

  20. totally agree.

    angie–there is NO need for that. truly pathetic.

    sandra–hated the dress. it was huge and unflattering.

    jlo-don’t even get me started. since you missed the slip, it was during her speech with cameron…AS she was speaking about how a dress should be loose enough so as to be ladylike…

    evidently i’m the only person who actually hated michelle williams dress. it felt betsey johnson to me.

    and i want to see tina fay in color.

  21. Great Red Carpet coverage! However lackluster Billy Crystal was, it’s leaps and bounds over last year’s hosts. 2011 was the worst ever.

  22. Gwennie looked so fantastic! I have to say her hair, cape, dress (the fit was perfect) was clean, fresh and unexpected. She was the best dressed for me. The presentation w/ Robert Downey Jr was terrible, so not funny.

  23. I’m de-lurking just to say how much I love your red carpet recaps! After every award show I always look forward to reading your posts, and I couldn’t agree with you more! Michelle Williams was so charming in that dress and Octavia Spencer looked lovely. I’m surprised you didn’t comment on Penelope Cruz, too. She was among the best for me and I liked finally seeing her in something that wasn’t a super vampy. Not a fan of the cape, but Gwyneth’s look would have been really improved with better hair and some stunning earrings. And Sandra Bullock was the worst. She was referring to the Oscars as “sexy time” on the red carpet, but, sorry, this look is so matronly and definitely *not* sexy. Tina Fey for Oscar Host 2013!!!

  24. I don’t even watch award shows anymore since I know you will supply the goods the next day. Love it every time. Michelle Williams looks divine!

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  26. Awesome commentary! I agree Michelle Williams was at the very top of my list as well. I thought Emma Stone looked lovely, a little copycat but really pretty. Where were all of the stars though- i always love Reese on the red carpet!
    in dramatic fashion

  27. I absolutely agree with you – this was such a boring Awards Show and the red carpet was just blah. I actually loved the dress at the after parties so much more – check them out on People.com

  28. I rarely watch the show, but ALWAYS come here for the commentary; far more entertaining than watching. I can’t say that I agree or disagree with most since I didn’t see it, but your pictures and commentary are priceless.

  29. LOL. At first I was afraid that I was the only one who thought she looked like a total dumba$$ for sticking her leg out of her dress like that!

  30. You are so absurdly self centered and negative – all there is to see is “I hated it”‘ I didn’t love it…” So on. why do you think your opinion matters again? Oh, wait, it doesn’t!

  31. Great recap. Kristin Wiig looked like a coffee stain – why can’t she find a decent stylist? That color, if you can call it color was gross. Love Octavia and Glenn close!

  32. Wow…some of these comments are scary! Some readers need to relax…its just an opinion. No need for personal attacks…geez. Erin, it was entertaining as always!

  33. Spot on as usual Erin…and your humor always adds a welcome element. Pay no attention to “Ann”…she clearly has some issues to work out.

    Love your blog.

    Cheers,

    London’s biggest EOS fan!

  34. Ann, it’s a blog. Do you understand what they are?? Don’t read it– no one is shoving Erin’s opinions down your throat.

  35. Oh my! You hit the nail on the head with Sandra Bullock! I thought I must be losing my mind because she kept hitting the best dressed lists, but I thought the whole thing looked horrible, even though I’m a huge fan of hers! And Angelina, even without the disjointed leg sticking out, I thought the dress was kind of ho hum. This was fun! ~Serene

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