FashionFebruary 27, 2012

Oscars Red Carpet 2012

First of all, that was the WORST Oscars telecast in the history of the show. From the red-carpet WTF coverage to the totally not funny schticks and microphone squealing issues to Billy Crystal’s over-Botoxed forehead. Next year I petition for Tina Fey to host. Or Alec Baldwin. Someone who is current and actually funny.

Anywhoo….onto the fashion.  Overall it was okay, nothing that really stunned me into silence, but also nothing that made me scream at the TV in horror (which is half the fun really).   And where were half the stars? Leo? Ryan? Jake? Reese? Kate? I digress- onto the dresses:

My best dressed goes to Michele Williams in deep coral Louis Vuitton.  Not only do I think she is classy and lovely as a person, but she also GLOWED and look comfortable and happy in that dress.

Coming in second, but holding an Oscar, was Octavia Spencer.  She looked awesome last night, that dress was the perfect example of dressing a curvy figure!But this dress is gorgeous on it’s own too- love the cap sleeve, the hint of sparkle and the draping!

You all know I love me some GOOP.  And her Tom Ford gown looked beautiful and fit her gorgeous.  But I think I am the only one who didn’t LOVE the cape.  I liked it, but did not LOVE it.  I think if her hair was different (hated it) then I would have been over the moon about this look.

Glenn Close gets the Helen Mirren Award for “Looking Hotter than Women Half Her Age”.  Even Andrew commented on how fabulous she looked.  I j’adore the tuxedo jacket over the gown- age appropriate and sassy.

I typically don’t love black and gold embroidery, but when I saw Jessica Chastain I gasped. She looked so gorgeous, and seems like such a lovely lady.

I am totally envious of her red hair- and last night it was perfection!!!

Viola Davis has been absolutely killing it on the red carpets this season, but last night I was not psyched.  The dress itself was really gorgeous and that color was drop dead- but the fit was WAY too tight! It looked like her boobs were going to either explode or make a special appearance.

I loved Rose Byrne’s simple yet sexy look- except she’s gotten too skinny! Like, shockingly so compared to when she was in Bridesmaids! But the haircut, earrings and makeup were perfect.

Speaking of skinny….

Hey Brad, move over. Angie’s leg needs more room to stick out.

OMG, I didn’t realize your dress had a slit! Thanks for confirming that on stage, Ang.

And the best moment of the night….

SUCK IT JOLIE! Her striking a post so flagrantly on stage was SO absurd this guy could not help himself…. even though she was still standing there on stage!  Sorry Angie, you are allowed to act like a sexpot only after you gain weight so you don;t look like the Crypt Keeper in a ball gown.  A jutting clavicle bone isn’t hot. It’s too bad because her dress and overall look was beautiful, her attitude just ruined it.

I did not love the neck on Emma Stone’s dress, it seemed like too much fabric to me and way to close to the Balenciaga gown Nicole Kidman wore in 2009.  However, I love her and she was one of the only genuine laughs I had during the telecast when she was onstage with Ben Stiller. Adorable.

Oh look, George doesn’t need to win he already has a big gold statue! Is that rosette on her hip? ICK.  I have not liked much Marchesa in the last few years- it’s so….. froufy.

Two of my favorite funny ladies looked fantastic- Tina looked the best she’s looked all year, especially her hair and makeup.  And Maya Rudolph looks amazing in purple and her hair too was magic!

And then Kristen Wiig showed up in silly putty again! AGAIN! Who is telling her to wear this color multiple times this year?  Canary yellow? Hot pink? Come on!!! Something other than THIS.

Another person who needed to wear color. All I can say about this is “Meh”. It washes her out.

She looked WAY hotter in her VF party dress!

J.Lo. Oh J.Lo. I didn’t see the nip slip everyone was talking about, and she did look pretty…but those arm slits are just so….mall prom dress.

I actually liked her VF dress better- the deep red sequins were so killer and the sides have panels of lace dyed the same color….

BUT she brought him. I thinks he should get an Honorary Lifetime Achievement Oscar for Worst Taste in Men!

Am I the only one who absolutely HATED Sandra’s dress? Another Marchesa nightmare. She is one of my favorite actresses so it pains me to say it, but man I thought it was heinously unflattering.

I also did not love Natalie Portman’s vintage polka dot dress. I think it was the necklace. Had she paired it with a more modern hair style and jewelry I think it would have been sweet. But she looks too mature and uptight for her age.

Rooney Mara was incredible in Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and I like that she’s not all “Hollywood”- but something about her is off for me.  I understand shy, but she seems a smidge smug in her silence.  I did like her overall look, it was very “her” and while severe, ethereally so.

BEST OF THE NIGHT!!! :) You can’t beat a handsome Frenchman and adorable Jack Russell. You just can’t.

P.S. Kim Kardashian actually went to a party COVERED UP! She actually looks lovely! Now that’s news.

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