FashionMay 8, 2012

Met Gala 2012 Red Carpet Review

Last night was THE fashion event of the year and of course I have to review the looks that came down the red carpet.  Lots of misses, a few hits and a whole lotta questions on my end.

Let’s start with the good, shall we?

Two of my favorite looks were pale gowns on dark haired ladies- Ashley Greene and Camilla Belle.  Sleek, gorgeous and just plain PRETTY. I probably would have done a different lip color on Camilla had I been in charge, but they both look stunning.

Another white dress I loved was on Clare Danes, who looked throwback sexy.  Jessica Alba’s metallic gown also looked lovely and glamorous.

Side-swept hair and bright colored gowns looked awesome on Hilary Swank and Kristen Bell.  Simple and classy.

Cate Blanchett is such a red carpet rock star and makes a dark statement in a fitted black gown with huge feather bottom (yet it looks 100% classic on her).  And it pains me to say this, but Lea Michelle looked awesome in DVF! Hey, I admit when someone I don’t like looks amazing!

Emily Blunt looking beautiful in pink and Nine Dobrev in a liquid gold Donna Karan gown.

Details I loved- Diane Krugers skirt (how comfortable does she look in this loose yet glam gown?) and the back of Candance Swanepol’s blue dress made my heart stop. Granted, you need a back like that to make it look THAT good, but I digress.

Gwyneth is polarizing yet again- I like the overall look, however it’s about 3″ too short in the front (“I can see your hoo haaa!”) and those print pockets are weird. But she still looks fierce from the waist up and knees down!

OK, Gisele never looks bad, and in this gown she looks downright amazing. And from the forehead down my Tommy Boy (used to sleep in his jersey, thought we would get married) looks HOT… but what did he do to his hair?? Even Gisele is looking at him like “What the f….”

Straight up Kewpie Doll.

Is this the new Bieber swoop?

Oh Tom, if only you had asked for my number that time we met at the bar you would not be going through this…. ;)

My fave funny ladies looking GREAT- Chelsea bringing the class and Amy Poehler bringing sexy (peplum) back.

Skinny belts reigned- not sure how much I love Katherine McPhee’s- something is bugging me about it.  But Emma Roberts’ contrasting color and peplum is looking fresh and sweet!

Risk takers that left me on the fence- love Cary Mulligan and she can totally pull this off, but it’s a bit Judy Jetson for me. And I kind of like Lana Del Ray’s look, the gown is simple and fits beautifully and the cape kind of works on her? Am I off my rocker?

These dresses are kind of crazy yet kind of fun- Chloe Sevigny’s 60’s mod Miu Miu for SOME strange reason makes me smile (not the bedazzled heeled clogs, NO SIR, but the dress is kind of risky cool, no?) I am SO glad to see Kristen Wiig in COLOR instead of nude, and with an updo and strappy gold heels this would be beautiful, but something about the way it’s styled here is off).

I am so hating this whole sheer long skirt trend. Like, really hating it. I think it’s unflattering and bizarre on anyone- even Heidi Klum and Marion Cotillard. Blech.

And then, if it’s possible, Beyonce went and made me hate it even more. Why? I mean, we get it, you lost your baby weight, but I don’t need to see ass cheeks on the red carpet. I really don’t.

I thought I had seen Cameron’s hair do before…

I will never, ever understand how these rich celebrities and designers end up in anything even remotely ugly.  I get taking risks, I get fashion as art, I DO- but ugly is ugly in my book. And January and Tory just look….meh.

Eva Mendes can wear whatever she wants (even this hot mess) because she is sleeping with Ryan Gosling. WINNING.  And Emma Stone went for cute and missed and fell into the “middle school dance” pool.

Why does Jessica Biel hide that stunning face with those bangs? And I just cannot get behind this skirt length. Just the beginning of all the GRANNY chic on the carpet last night- speaking of, enter SJP in this old wallpaper print gown with matching print shoes. WHAT THE FRIG? Are we doing this now?

No seriously, am I missing something? These gowns look like grandma’s nightgowns from 1950! I feel like we’ve time traveled! And on such young, beautiful girls? I do not get this AT ALL.

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL MK!?!? Taking granny to a whole other level with the powdered hair and “I need more calcium” slouch. Someone forgot to sip her mango Klonopin smoothie before getting dressed…

These two need a friggin’ SANDWICH. No, they need sixteen sandwiches (make that seventeen for Vera). All at once. Never a good look.

Gold gone wrong- Scarlett needs a new stylist. I feel like she used to look so great and as of late the dresses she’s been shown in are too 80’s and unflattering in fit and color on her. She does form fitted like no one else (except maybe Salma Hayek) and needs to get back to that.  And Carolina looks terrifying to me. Like an evil Fembot. I feel like she might want to eat my brain.

These two stole their outfits from the costume closet from the Hunger Games set. Clearly.

Kristen has been looking so much better on red carpets, until last night. FUG! HELLA FUG! But, as I said about Eva, she wakes up next to Rob Pattinson so I can just eat my words.


No, like seriously, EVER. Mrs. Claus meets Hilary Clinton much? I can’t even fathom the though process that went on to get her in this outfit.

Gates, out.

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