Getting Older is Not For Wimps.

The other day I was at the mall looking for something smashing to wear to a VERY cool, amazing event I’m going to this weekend (of course I found nothing, NOTHING!) and I caught myself saying the following things:

1) “Why is the music so damn loud in here???”

2) “What, is this dress cut for toddlers??”

3) “This needs to be looser”

It used to be the case that these are the phrases that I would only hear when out shopping with my mother– from my mother.  But now all of the sudden I am saying them!

THEN  I was backing out of my driveway the other day and almost ran over an entire family when I caught the sight of, like, 30 new grey hairs sprouting out of my head. Evil, wiggly things! GAH!

And finally I went to the doctor and was smacked upside the head by the knowledge that I am 1/2″ shorter than I thought (am I shrinking??) and 8 pounds heavier!  Could my metabolism be shutting down at 33??? No more mindless hummus and chips???

tumblr_m6sszfxspw1ql141xo1_500

No, seriously, what is happening?  I feel like the aging process went from 0 to 60 in a matter of 6 months and now all I want for my impending birthday is to have a bunch of lasers pointed at my face to help erase all these ridiculous sun spots that are multiplying like friggin’ rabbits despite the SPF 2,500 I wear now.  I am pretty sure my mom warned me about this when I was a 16 year old lifeguard slathering on OIL and baking in the sun 8 hours a day. Why didn’t I listen????

It’s so strange to watch yourself change in this way, and I know this is child’s play compared to what’s to come, but you also couldn’t PAY me to be 21 again.  No thank you. I was one of those weird people who did not like college and felt kind of lost and tortured in my early 20’s.  Although I still feel unsure of a lot of things, time and life has given me a more solid ground to stand on and understanding of myself.  I can only assume (and hope) that that only grows with age along with a greater acceptance of one’s self.  Like Sally O’Malley. She’s my role model.

This whole recognition of getting older thing just means it’s time to be more diligent about taking care of myself and knowing that confidence and happiness is the best beauty treatment there is (#besideslasers). Because no cream is gonna do it. And fighting it tooth and nail is like trying to staple jello to the ceiling. Pointless. I’m a little less scared of cutting my hair for fear that men only like long hair (I got a man and he better like my hair whichever way) and a little MORE scared of everyone’s health and making sure I do something important and real in this life. It’s a re-balancing of concerns and desires, I suppose.

How about all of you??? Anyone else feeling like they have entered a long term relationship with Father Time?


80 comments

  1. *RELATE* *GREAT (but concurrently sucky) REALIZATION POST*
    almost 34
    hangovers last for freaking ever!
    white hairs? wtf are these sprightly little evils?
    how come i gain weight after 2 lbs of m&m’s for breakfast these days? huh?
    i think back to when i thought i was fat in my late 20s and wish i could be as skinny as that!
    just chopped my hair yesterday into a long bob and have NO regrets. freaking love it. had long hair for 12 years.
    consider 18 year olds girls to be babies, even though they’re dressing like porn stars and dating my co-workers! wtf?
    it’s just not cosmically (or comically, for that matter)that my husband is growing into a silver fox and i’m growing into a silver seal.
    Godspeed ladies, Godspeed.

  2. I hear you! Had to finally start coloring my hair this year–such a sad & expensive day! Spider & varicose veins are the next (four children leave their mark). But, I certainly wouldn’t want to be 21 again. I just hosted a girls movie night, and watched the Before Sunrise/Sunset movies, circa 1994/2003. It was hilarious to listen to all the “deep” conversation between Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy as 23 year olds. Can’t wait to see Before Midnight, to hear their real, adult conversations as 40 somethings. I guess you can’t have wisdom without a few gray hairs, extra lbs., and such.

  3. This post is so relevant right now! I got a spray tan last night and noticed just not I have a ton of spots that showed up on my legs and arms. I know from experience these are going to be freckles soon. I told my husband I’m getting the spots I already have lasered asap. Oh, and I’m getting botox in my forehead. My mom got it and she looks great, and natural. It’s just not right for my 63 year old mother to have a wrinkle free forehead when mine is a hot mess at 36. I started aging so fast at 34. I don’t know why and it’s freaking me out!

  4. Best post ever. Isn’t it so shocking? I loved what Patricia said, and I TRY to be grateful for the present by asking myself, “what would my 80 year old self say?” Some days it works, some days, hmmmmmm not so much. Love your blog!!

  5. Physical problems: Adult on-set acne, weight gain, gray hair, coarse hair, pale skin, blotchy skin, dry skin, brown spots, new hair in weird places, plucking every 5 minutes. Monetary Problems: New cost of la mer, eye cream, hair dye, laser hair removal, etc. It’s a bitch. But we are still alive.

  6. Cripes, my back! Also, its almost 8pm, way too late to be on these internets. Its gets better – (35, two lil kids, and wearing it juuuust fine if not always exhausted). LASERS FOR EVERYONE!

  7. Erin, just made an appt for the laser thing myself (freakin’ spots!)…and we’re in the same neighborhood. Skincare Physicians on Route 9 in C. Hill. They’ve got all the fun lasers, gadgets, etc… Good luck!

    Susan

  8. Oh I hear your pain!!! This week my doctor told me I’ve started peri-menopause! (I wake up in a sweat every night) And I’m off to the hairdresser to fix the freeking wiry curly grey mass that has suddenly sprung up. And no-one understands my pop-culture references. And I get a hangover from just 3 glasses of wine. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? Just a couple months ago I was being mistaken for ten years younger than I am, and now I am withering from the inside!!! hahahahah

  9. I’m not there yet… For me, the anxiety that aging brings out has more to do with the growing pains of being in my early (mid? I’ll be 25 this summer…) twenties. Working through a second degree (in interior design!) manages to cause me to feel incredibly young and old at the same time, which is a bizarre sensation. Above all, I hope to age gracefully, but as I already notice changes, some for better, some for worse, I definitely get caught off guard! Love your honesty and authenticity – posts like these mixed in with your regular design narrative have kept me coming back for years!

  10. Haha, this is all so true! I turned 34 last week and was lamenting at book club last night about the random little below-the-chin hair that crops up once a month. WTF?? When did I become my mother!! I yank out gray hairs with tweezers (too cheap to get it colored yet), use depilatory cream to remove the “mustache,” but still have to use acne cream on the zits. Life is funny. :) But, I’ve also lost 25 pounds in the last two years, exercise regularly now, and started using a clarisonic on my face (yay, a glow!). So, I actually feel physically better than I have in awhile. I guess it’s just a state of mind. That, and under-eye concealer!

  11. hmmmm, let’s see. at 33 i had already been coloring my hair for 5 years, i had to get glasses for being nearsighted, and i got tinitus in one ear from a virus…don’t worry though-you have at least 17 really good years left :)

  12. Since I am awake at 4am and posting a comment after waking up wih night sweats, lets just say it only gets more interesting from here. What’s next? I spend all my time waiting for my next hair color appointment and finding a chic hat to wear at the beach with my gazillion SPF sunscreen. And what about this thin skin thing that’s happening? Yikes!!

  13. Erin, you are the best! This post is awesome, couldn’t have said it better. How about with the addition of grays, and I mean lots, my hair has decided to curl; I have legitimate curly hair, wtf?! It’s such fun and ridiculously comforting to see the vary same things I question myself and bitch about in an eloquently written and hilarious post, written by you. Thank you!

  14. Ladies, STOP. You are babies. I’m in my 60’s and having the time of my life. If you’re sweating a few wrinkles at your age, you’re going to be a total basket case at my age.

  15. You hit the nail on the head – aging is not a linear prospect! Things dramatically change all at once and then stay there for awhile until the next jump! That’s a good thing though – keeps us guessing and aging is nature’s way of reminding us that nothing stays the same so control what you can and let the other stuff go. Oh, and don’t EVER cut your hair too short! It ages most women…as does gray hair… :D

  16. 50 is the real shocker. LOL I even catch myself adjusting my posture at the table in a certain way and thinking “Oh my gosh that looked/felt EXACTLY like my mother.” I don’t know my own face in the mirror but I still feel 25 on the inside. The whole process is creepy. You have to keep your sense of humor and realize that beauty comes from within and if your heart is lovely people will think that you are also. Cheers.
    Cindy

  17. I hit 45 this year and am not happy about eating less and gaining weight!In my mind, I’m still that off-the-rack, effortless size 6, but the tags on my clothes tell a different tale!

    I’m STILL freakin’ sexy, though! :D

  18. It’s funny, I have to say that turning 40 makes you just except reality. You can either fight it and look like the “HOUSEWIVES” or you can just do it gracefully. There truly is nothing more sexier, then a woman who is confident in herself!

  19. Preach, Dawna. I agree. And Allyson K? LOVE IT. So true.

    I’ll admit to dyeing my grays for the past… um, 5 years or so, but I’m rolling with the rest of it. I haven’t even plucked my gray eyebrow hairs!

    And who says short hair ages you? I think it’s the other way around for sure. My sophisticated inverse bob ‘do is far more flattering than the teenager-wannabe-ponytails that a lot of my same-aged cohort is rocking. I get complemented on my hair by strangers several times a week; and my husband isn’t complaining either! If you’re thinking you want to try short–find a talented stylist and go for it!

  20. Um… YES! In fact, my hair dresser plucked grey hair from my head yesterday during a haircut after I confused to almost crashing my car as a result of the cruel natural light coming through my sunroof. Delightful!

    I’m 33 and things, well, times are a’changing. I especially notice the joys of aging gracefully when I’m suffering from happy hour hangovers (when did alcohol start super hating my body!), when I’m at the office and hear the term millenial, and when think skirt lengths at stores are “inappropriate.”

    This spoof on Taylor Swift’s “22” is hilarious and accurate… “32” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/02/32-taylor-swift-parody-22_n_3001704.html

  21. As much as I enjoyed reading your post today, I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments too! You have some funny quirky readers and I loved hearing feedback from everyone of all ages. At 27 my metabolism has slowed down in the past year – 6 lbs from this time last year. I thought it was only supposed to be 1 lb a year?! Guess not! I find myself researching the latest and greatest skin care products and wanting to try everything. Even when purchasing products from Nordstrom I get so excited about the samples! Thanks for being so real and open.

  22. Relax…..my mom said that a woman is the most beautiful at 33. Though I disagree with her a bit (she was talking about many things), but I will tell you to enjoy this wonderful time of your life. I’m sixty-four and I still think I’m adorable. Jowls, grey hair, crows feet and all.

  23. Hi Erin
    You are seriously approaching the prime of your life…you will experience such amazing changes in who you are over the next few years and as you approach 40, SO much about life makes sense. So don’t fret, just enjoy the journey…
    I laughed so much when I read your comments about the music..I catch myself doing it constantly and I always smile to myself because it really is an “old” thing to say!!

Comments are closed.