So I actually thought last night’s Oscars red carpet was pretty boring. There was a lot I didn’t like, a slew I was “meh” about and only a couple looks I really liked. I hate it when that happens! I still am craving to see people looking pretty and elegant (but unique), not edgy/ugly and “FASHION!!!!”
Nicole Kidman was my best dressed. Typically I do not like super pale complexions in nude dresses (which Nicole does allllll the time) but this one was amazing- the pattern, detail and neckline were stunning and that orange-y red lip made the entire look work on her. Her hair, makeup and jewelry was also totally spot on (she didn’t look as Botoxed to high heaven as she normally does). Bravo.
The back was great too but for the love of God, can someone help Keith Urban with his hair? It’s very upsetting. #putdownthestraightner #nomoreboybandhighlights
Viola Davis always kills it in simple silhouettes in bold colors. I loved the hair and makeup too. Taraji P. Henson took this sort of 80’s neckline and slayed it. The dress fit her like a glove and the loose faux bob was the perfect compliment. Also that necklace. Woah.
Hailee Steinfeld looked awesome too (although on the carpet the dress was a tad too sheer for me). The high neckline with the updo and the smokey eye in contrast with the ethereal fabric was awesome. I have a feeling Leslie Mann is going to end up on worst dressed lists but I actually love her in this colorful Zac Posen. She is such a happy, glowy person and this dress suits her (also the red lip is the perfect contrast to the chartreuse)
Michelle Williams is usually a favorite, and I like this dress, but wish it had been pulled up a smidge as the waistline looks like its hitting her too low and the skirt is too long and puddling funny. But otherwise gorgeous. Emma Roberts worse similarly color-blocked dress that was vintage (which makes it 1,000x cooler). This too was really close, but I wish the cups had been about an inch wider on the sides- this gives me “wardrobe malfunction vibes”. Hair , makeup and jewels all fantastic though.
Okay, Jessica Beil’s hair made me SO SAD. It looked like a fallen down french twist that was done with a fistful of oil. Which sucks because the look was really cool. I loved the dress, it fit her perfect and I LOVE me a long sleeved fitted gown. The necklace (Tiffany) was super cool too- nto what I would ahve chosen, but I appreciate the funkiness. I also (randomly) loved Robin Roberts’ gown! Those jeweled straps are errrrrrrything with the short hair!
Karlie Kloss of course looked statuesque and so glamorous. Love this look on her- but did remind me a lot of Gwyneth’s Tom Ford in 2012. Isabelle Hupert looked elegant, classy and oh-so-chic in this sparkly long sleeved gown as well. May have preferred a loose updo and larger earrings with it though.
Hot damn, Jen Anniston is super va-va-voom in this gown (I did not see it live- did it look as good?) But someone slap whoever put that stupid tie on Justin. And I thought Kirsten Dunst looked very chic in Dior, except for the exaggerated bust? It looks almost wired to me (like Carrie Bradshaw’s wedding dress?) But I do love a good messy hair/ elegant ladylike gown moment.
Grey was a repeated trend, my favorites being Octavia Spencer in Marchesa (her best look ever I think) and Ava Duvarnay doing the high neck/ long sleeve thing JUST right (the dress looked amazing when she walked).
Can we discuss Rosie H-W in shimmering grey making all pregnant women feel terrible about themselves this morning?
Brie Larson looked better than she typically does on red carpets- and was giving me major Madame X vibes (also a hint of Renee Zellwegger, no?)
Love Halle’s dress, she always picks awesome gowns that show off her insane body but man were the people seated behind her mad about not being able to see any of the show. Her hair was gigantic! In this pic it actually looks okay, but on the red carpet it was bafflingly humungous!
From the “call my stylist and fire them” files, Ruth Negga and Ginnifer Goodwin showed up in nearly an identical look. And it’s hard to believe because they are totally unique looks- who would have guessed two women would have worn bright red lace Victorian neck gowns? And for the record, I don’t like either of them.
Okay, now those I did not like and what I wish they had worn….
Emma Stone broke my heart with this Givenchy. I hated the fringe and the color was so BLAH on her! The girl needs to wear green or navy with that amazing hair (loved the hair and makeup though).
This seafoam J. Mendel would have looked SO contrast-y cool with her hair! Or this awesome green/plum Jenny Packham.
Then I just saw that Kate Bosworth wore the Mendel dress to the Vanity Fair party…
Naomi Harris’ dress confused me- it felt like it didn’t know what it wanted to be- a cocktail dress or a gown. I think she could have worn this Ralph & Russo and had it looked more decisive and elegant.
OR this BA-NA-NAS Elie Saab. Wouldn’t this have been so jaw-dropping on her??
Alicia Vikander– oh, what in the 8th-grade-dance-puffy-sleeved-hell is this? Also, I think she had just come from yoga class with that bun. Awful, haaaaaaate this whole silhouette. Would she not have looked bananas in this Dior?
I think this is the first time ever Charlize has been on my worst dressed list! What is the world coming to? This cut and fabric is so unflattering on her :( I would have LOVED to see her in this long sleeve sweater/ball skirt combo with the earrings she has on OR a huge statement necklace.
Another ill-fitting dress- Scarlett Johansson. Nope.
I would have loved this graphic Lhuillier ballgown on her, which would have looked so cool with her edgy hair:
Felicity Jones misses the mark with this pasty pale, awkward length dress.
For a feminine and pretty look I would have much preferred this Dior.
Oh my, whoever did this to Olivia Culpo needs to be FIRED. Olivia modeled for us at Two Penny Blue years ago and I can tell you that she is one of the most GORGEOUS women on earth in person. So to slick back/forward her beautiful hair like this is a crime, not to mention the purpple eyeshadow, dark liner 90’s lips and dress. OMG, she would have been stunning with long loose waves in this Monique Lhuillier colum gown and giant diamond studs.
Janelle Monae likes a BIG look. And I appreciate her use of red carpet dressing as a form of theater. I do. And I liked what was happening north the waist here. But the puffed out hips…. oy vey! I would have liked to see her in something a bit less ginormous. Maybe this funky one shouldered gown (also, she would look amazing in a bright color!)
HOLY WORST DRESSED OF ALL TIME.
I could not believe my eyes when I saw Dakota Johnson walk onto the carpet (and neither could Ryan Seacrest, clearly– he was all “so this is interesting…”) This must have been stolen out of her mom Melanie Griffith’s 80’s wardrobe. SO BAD. I can’t even dive into all the details of how bad it is. She’s so young! Why put her in this mess???? Why put a necklace on top of a ruffled collar? Also, the sad limp hair. Oh my, I am just…..depressed.
ANYTHING would have looked better, but I like these more fun options- like gold polka dots, or a shimmery column or this perwinkle ruffled situation (if it were pulled up- that model makes me cringe). Or this cool sparkley tulle number with statement earrings…. ANYTHING.
OK, who did you love and hate???