image via Etsy
Today I turn 39. I can’t believe this is the last year in my 30’s, I still feel like 40 is so far away and sounds so much older than I feel! Not that I’m scared of 40 at all, I actually think my 40’s may be my happiest decade yet. I think the one thing that we all hope for in life is to feel a sense of contentment with who we are and what we’re doing with our time. I have worked so hard to get to that place of feeling truly happy and fulfilled, but it has been WORK. I haven’t really had time to breathe it in and enjoy it all that much. That’s what I’m hoping my 40’s brings, a little time to savor life.
But in this last year of my 30’s I still feel like I have some things to tick off my list. Ideally, another baby. We’ll see about that, as it’s very much out of my control, but one of the things I most look forward to in my 40’s is putting my fertility battle behind me. It’s been the most grueling part of this decade by miles- physically, mentally and relationship-wise. So wether we have another baby, consider adopting another or settle into the idea that our family may be complete just us three, I look forward to moving on. It weighs on me everyday in so many ways and I hope I will have the grace to bring this journey to a close, and be happy with that resolution, however it ends.
My second book will be released this year, and then that will most likely be it for me and books. The book process is very arduous, time consuming and while incredibly rewarding as well, not something I plan on doing again for a while. I so look forward to sharing this next one with you, and feel very accomplished in having written two books, but I need to save that energy for myself, my kid and the other aspects of my business that have bloomed in the last couple years. I also want to be able to share my work with you as it’s completed, instead of having to embargo it for years. I think it’ll be a boost to my business as a designer and I’ll always have this space to share with you my thoughts, both serious and silly. Seeing my first book in so many of your homes (and on the NYT bestseller list) has been one of the greatest accomplishments of my career. But I need to take a breath after this next one.
We’re giving the blog a new facelift this year too, and I hope that the time freed up from not writing a third book will allow me to re-focus a bit more on the blog itself and flush out some ideas I’ve had for a while. This blog has been the crux of my whole career and it’s taken a slight bit of a backseat the past few years due to lots of other exciting opportunities, but it’s time to come home to it again and give it the TLC it deserves.
And as for me, I just want to relax a little more, give myself a few more breaks and snuggle my Henry tighter. Take a morning off now and then to take him to a class or a museum and enjoy him being so little and so sweet. Before long, he’ll not want me to hold his hand or snuggle him to sleep. Time is passing so fast now, all I want for my birthday is to be able to take it all in and enjoy it.